Elevator Etiquette

This morning’s fury was not actually what I planned on ranting about today, but it came up and needed to be expressed. I’ll save my originally intended post for another day and instead bring up something that really chaps my ass:

LET OTHER PEOPLE EXIT THE ELEVATOR BEFORE YOU ENTER

Does this really need to be said? Do we need Miss Manners to write a cute little article about why your fat ass can wait its turn? Dear Miss Manners: For some reason people are always in the doorway when I’m trying to barge into the elevator. What should I do?

And while we’re on the topic – I get it, you are a super-duper important business man doing super-duper important business. But when you forget to get off the elevator at your floor because you are too absorbed in your Blackberry to notice your surroundings, you look like an idiot.

Also, please don't pass gas in the elevator. Its not that I mind you tooting - sometimes mine slip out accidently too - I just don't want you to leave and then the next person coming into the elevator thinks that rotten stench came from my bum not yours