Shove A Bum, Chum?

Over the holidays my brother and I went to go see a movie together (the new Sherlock Holmes, very good). I hardly ever get to see him, or go to the movies, so I was excited. And for the purposes of this story, I should tell you that my brother enjoys being a bit of a curmudgeon.

So, we get to the theatre at 6:45. One showing started at 6:40 and the next is at 7:15. We could have made the earlier showing (it would probably still be the pre-preview commercials) but we decide that since we both wanted good seats - three quarters of the way back, in the middle of the row - and snacks, we should go to the 7:15 showing.

Twenty-five minutes later we are sitting quite comfortably in our favourite seats, eating our snacks and watching previews when a man walks into the row with a group of about five people behind him and asks us to move down a few seats for their family. I don't even remember thinking about it, I just unconsciously started to gather all my things and get up, when I heard my brother say "No." Just like that. No. And then I think I stayed there half out of my seat frozen for a moment. The man asking for our seats seemed a bit taken back as well. What do you mean, he says, I have all these people, we want to sit together... Too bad, says my brother. I scold him and move down a few seats, beckoning him to scooch over with me. He moves over one chair and sits resolutely. I sheepishly move back to the seat beside him, and by now the man and his group have wandered off into the dark theatre in search of other rows. As I said at the beginning, this is not completely unexpected behaviour from my brother, so I chuckle and shake my head and pat him on the arm and we go back to watching the previews. 

Except I couldn't stop thinking about what had just taken place. See, we knew it was going to be a crowded show and we both wanted to sit in our favourite spot - middle of the row three quarters back. We had purposely gone into that movie theatre early. Half an hour early. So we could get comfortable and have our snacks and sit in those seats. Why does some guy who walks into a movie that has already started assume we were saving those seats for him, because he got there late and still wants his whole group to be able to sit together. And why does my brain assume without even asking me that I would immediately get up and give them to him? And when this random person asks me to give up my seat and move to the end of the row, which I hate, why would I assume my brother is the one being rude for objecting and not this guy for expecting that we would?

My brother and I talked about it then, and I laughed and gave him a squeeze, because I decided what I may have initially deemed discourteous was really my big brother sticking up for me, for us, on a rare night out.

This may seem strange and fairly trivial to you, but it was a moment of epiphany for me. I constantly allow people to impose upon me. More than basic civility would require. I seem to feel as if it would be rude of me to insist upon my own preferences or needs, but I expect exactly that from others without thinking that they, in fact, are the ones being inconsiderate.

As far as theatre chairs are concerned, from now on I will only agree to move one seat in either direction to accomodate a late-comer.

I'm curious what other people would have done in that situation: Move to the end so the group could sit together in the middle? Or tell them tough titties, you should have come earlier?