Twenty-Seven

Growing up I had some rough years.

Ages 11 and 12 were extremely awkward and pretty lonely.

Still not quite sure how I survived through 15 and 16.

20 - 21 is sort of hazy and mostly miserable.  

Twenty-Seven was. a. rough. year.

Its been a big ‘transition’ year to say the least, except that the word transition implies change and I haven’t changed anything. At all. Same partner, same house, same job, same desk, same bus route, same old brown shoes.

I had passed the four year mark. Four years is how long I can talk myself into staying in any one place. After that I get antsy again, start feeling the urge to keep moving. Jann Arden’s Where No One Knows Me starts playing on repeat in my head. But moving on was no longer an option and I was struggling with being ‘settled’. And then someone said to me, “Maybe not changing is the biggest change of all.” Yeah. Think about that. So I have been.

A few excerpts (or highlights if you will) of 27:

• An extremely important person in my life passed away. It took a long time to process.
• I had my very own stalker (again), who refused for almost a year to get bored and move on. With a heaping dose of harrassment and even a death threat or two thrown in for good measure.
• My depression kept getting worse and worse, even though I tried to stay on top of it. (In my experience with depression I have found that it is cyclical, but this slump just went on and on and on.) Whine and Wines, exercise, going back to a counsellor regularly, painting the house… nothing helped. And six months of crippling depression really takes a toll on my body, my relationships, my social life, my work, everything!
• I had bizarre and troublesome health concerns.
• I had to cut out coffee.

(And, although our wedding was a labour of love, and beautiful, and such a my-heart-is-so-full-I'm-crying joyful event, I struggled with it. Because it was also arduous, and frustrating, and stressful, and time-consuming, and money-consuming.)  

Yesterday I was another year older and got to put all that behind me. And twenty-seven ended on a positive note. I have learned some valuable lessons and important things about myself. I have a wonderful, loving, and incredibly patient husband. I have some changes and a new role to look forward to at work. I’m going back to school in my spare time. And I think I know what I want in life. I’m looking forward to 28.