JuicyFruit makes me want to vomit!

So, a lady in the elevator behind me today was the loudest gum-chewer I have ever heard.

What made it even worse was that she started up a conversation with the person next to her while continuing the gum-chewing. I couldn’t see her (thank goodness) but just the sounds coming out of this woman’s mouth - the squishing and squelching and chewing and talking with this gob of gum rolling around and the saliva building up at the corners of her lips.... *shudder*

DIS-GUS-TING!  

I don’t know how the other person was able to carry on a conversation in the midst of this grotesque display.  

I hate gum. It completely grosses me out. I hate the feeling that there is something in your mouth and you can chew and chew and chew but it never goes away. It makes me want to gag just thinking about it. Its like a rubbery chew-toy for people. I hate that it makes people’s breath a too-strong smell that’s either like toothpaste or like a flavour.  Why would any adult want to smell like grape punch? And your car should smell like winter-green, not your tongue! Blech!

But that could just be my own personal neuroses. Here’s a reason that everyone can relate to: Why is it rude to talk and chew when there is food in your mouth but not gum? Its still talking, its still chewing! Its still me seeing something being rolled around on your tongue and squished between your teeth!

I could barf right now.

I was actually on Stephen Harper's side today. More defending Canada, please!

I have sort of purposely been ignoring my blog lately. I have a lot to talk about, its just nothing that can be publicly announced right now. Its hard to have a lot of stuff swirling around in my head and not be able to express it. Hopefully soon.

In the meantime, something I can talk about that is really becoming a bee in my bonnett is this outcry from "environmentalists" and certain loud-mouthed celebrities (who think being famous somehow makes their opinions worth hearing, even though they got famous by reading words and ideas from scripts somebody else has written) about Canada's filthy natural resources.

Besides the virulent campaign against Keystone (thanks for wimping out on that one, Obama) and Gateway (Kevin Bacon? Really??), 16x9 recently did a laughably one-sided, completely unsubstantiated "exposé" on the dangerous effects of fracking and the negative effect Canada's oil and gas industry is having on ourselves and our environment. And that one really pissed me off. Safety standards in Canada today are the best they've ever been. And do people actually think they can reasonably argue that it is better to get oil from the Middle East than from Canada? Yeah, we'll threaten nuclear war with Iran over it, but a pipeline from Canada? No, that's just dangerous! I couldn't get over how irresponsible it was of a Canadian program to visciously lampoon Canadian resources, especially in the midst of such ill-informed protest and blustery complaining from our neighbours to the south.

The fact is, all Canadians benefit from the Canadian oil and gas industry; it would be ignorant and irresponsible to argue otherwise, and only acts as fodder for those in opposition: "See! Even Canadians don't like Canadian oil and gas!"

I think, if 16x9 really had those concientious citizen's best interests in mind, they should have spent the last segment of the show educating them on how to grow their own lettuce, carve a bicycle out of wood, and make yarn from wool to knit some long-johns for those cold winter nights. And that goes for anyone else who thinks Canada's incredible resources are dirty and unimportant.

UPDATE:
Okay so pretty much immediately after I publish this post I see on the news there was an explosion in Innisfail today. Apparently they were fracking too close to an oil drilling site and the pressure caused the well to blow up. Oh boy. Obviously there are some problems here too. But its still safer and cheaper than oil from the Middle East!

I'm thinking maybe people want the benefits they perceive they would get from controversial things (war, manufacturing using what basically amounts to slave-labour at factories in developing countries, oil and other resources) but they don't want them going down on home turf. Out of sight, out of mind? Hm.

Survey Says...

Because why not do a little 2011 wrap up? And also, because Aunt Becky practically forced me to...


1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Lots! I... went to a hospital in this city, hiked to the top of a mountain, wore my very own wedding gown, spent a week in Hawaii, got a Mantoux test, filed a complaint with the BBB, got a professional mani/pedi, bought brand new furniture, changed my name... that's all I can think of right now. There are always new experiences to be had.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't remember if I did. I probably won't this year. Anyways for me a new year always seems to start in September. I think because it is my birth month and when a new school year always started.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Everybody! It would be easier to count the people in my life that weren't making babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
People I knew. People I didn't know but was still upset about. And if pets count, them too.

5. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A million dollars. A second bathroom. A new windshield. Health Benefits and Paid Vacation.

6. What countries did you visit?
Managed to make a few trips south of the border.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:
August 27th - because it was a nice day for a white wedding

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
That I am still on speaking terms with everybody who 'helped' me plan the wedding. Also, painting our deck.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The gym.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
yes - the Great Mystery Illness Of 2011

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My brown boots.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine. That's right, I was a champ. Also, my husband's - for putting up with me.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The usual suspects.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The wedding fund.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Hawaii!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Long-legged Guitar-pickin' Man - Johnny and June

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? money-wise? or in a "the best things in life aren't 'things'" kind of way?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laughing!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying!

20. Did you fall in love in 2011?
More today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow..

21. How many one-night stands?
Zero. Well, if we're talking being used and discarded, I should be able to count the cat who spends the night sleeping on my face, but won't even talk to me during the day.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Can I change 'hate' to 'don't waste my time and energy on anymore'? Then yes.

23. What was the best book you read?
I read some good ones this year, some classics and some new books. I spent the most time on "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" trilogy.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I took guitar lessons!

25. What did you do on your birthday?
I had dinner and drinks on a patio after work with my family-in-law. I turned 28. I still cried this year like I do every year, but it really wasn't so bad.

26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to drink coffee and eat cheese!!! Zeus' Beard! How I miss cheese! Also, winning the lottery.

27. What kept you sane?
Alcohol. And cigarettes. But mostly, my husband.

28. What political issue stirred you the most?
Immigration. Oil. Gay Marriage. Canada's role/place in the world.

29. Who did you miss?
My Grandpa.

30. Who was the best new person you met?
It's a tie. My 'new' English cousin or my adorable new niece.

Bonus Question: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
I'm always learning something, and usually the hard way. DO NOT buy a gym membership. To be honest though, I have spent a lot of time searching for what it is that will make me happy in life. Needless to say, I haven't found it yet. This year I decided maybe that's because it isn't about me. I'm not quite ready to share this idea just yet but I will.

Shove A Bum, Chum?

Over the holidays my brother and I went to go see a movie together (the new Sherlock Holmes, very good). I hardly ever get to see him, or go to the movies, so I was excited. And for the purposes of this story, I should tell you that my brother enjoys being a bit of a curmudgeon.

So, we get to the theatre at 6:45. One showing started at 6:40 and the next is at 7:15. We could have made the earlier showing (it would probably still be the pre-preview commercials) but we decide that since we both wanted good seats - three quarters of the way back, in the middle of the row - and snacks, we should go to the 7:15 showing.

Twenty-five minutes later we are sitting quite comfortably in our favourite seats, eating our snacks and watching previews when a man walks into the row with a group of about five people behind him and asks us to move down a few seats for their family. I don't even remember thinking about it, I just unconsciously started to gather all my things and get up, when I heard my brother say "No." Just like that. No. And then I think I stayed there half out of my seat frozen for a moment. The man asking for our seats seemed a bit taken back as well. What do you mean, he says, I have all these people, we want to sit together... Too bad, says my brother. I scold him and move down a few seats, beckoning him to scooch over with me. He moves over one chair and sits resolutely. I sheepishly move back to the seat beside him, and by now the man and his group have wandered off into the dark theatre in search of other rows. As I said at the beginning, this is not completely unexpected behaviour from my brother, so I chuckle and shake my head and pat him on the arm and we go back to watching the previews. 

Except I couldn't stop thinking about what had just taken place. See, we knew it was going to be a crowded show and we both wanted to sit in our favourite spot - middle of the row three quarters back. We had purposely gone into that movie theatre early. Half an hour early. So we could get comfortable and have our snacks and sit in those seats. Why does some guy who walks into a movie that has already started assume we were saving those seats for him, because he got there late and still wants his whole group to be able to sit together. And why does my brain assume without even asking me that I would immediately get up and give them to him? And when this random person asks me to give up my seat and move to the end of the row, which I hate, why would I assume my brother is the one being rude for objecting and not this guy for expecting that we would?

My brother and I talked about it then, and I laughed and gave him a squeeze, because I decided what I may have initially deemed discourteous was really my big brother sticking up for me, for us, on a rare night out.

This may seem strange and fairly trivial to you, but it was a moment of epiphany for me. I constantly allow people to impose upon me. More than basic civility would require. I seem to feel as if it would be rude of me to insist upon my own preferences or needs, but I expect exactly that from others without thinking that they, in fact, are the ones being inconsiderate.

As far as theatre chairs are concerned, from now on I will only agree to move one seat in either direction to accomodate a late-comer.

I'm curious what other people would have done in that situation: Move to the end so the group could sit together in the middle? Or tell them tough titties, you should have come earlier?

"Merry Fishmas!"



Mr. Burns as Santa



I'm having trouble getting into the "Christmas Spirit" this year. We have had our tree up for weeks. I've gone to the parties. The presents have been bought. But I'm just not feeling it.

I don't know what it is. Its like I almost feel resentful of the the obligation that is Christmas. And because that is so much the opposite of what the spirit of the season is supposed to be, I just can't reconcile the two.

I am doing these things - not because its pretty and fun, or because I want to spend time with family and friends, or because I like hanging wreaths and giving gifts (all of which is true!) - but because I have to. And I better be excited about it and have a good time. And spend enough money to convince certain people that I really mean it. I object to being obligated to do these things, which should stem from the goodness of my own heart, not from some cultural/commercial pressure to do so.

Bah!