Pregnant?

This one isn't just for me, but also for all my lady friends out there dealing with the same thing. The "oooooooh, maybe you're pregnant?" query that we all have to deal with anytime we are bloated/cranky/tired/nauseous/peeing/sore/wearing purple on a weekday etc... This one really gets my goat. Maybe that's why people like to ask it so much.

So here is a list of some "symptoms" people like to point out to me and their corresponding non-baby-related reasons:

Weight-Gain
-I have gained 20 lbs in less than twelve months. Its not baby-weight. Its fat. I joined the gym, leave me alone.

Frequent Peeing
-I was recently told I have 50% of the amount of water in my body that I should have. My anxiety causes excess sweating and increases the frequency of urination. Now I am supposed to drink 4-6 litres of water a day. It makes me pee a lot.

Nausea/Dizzy-Spells
-I am not a morning person - getting out of bed at six in the morning is enough to make me nauseous. Also: spending the next twelve to thirteen hours stressed out and running around like a mad-woman; eating irregularly or not eating at all; dehydration; low blood pressure; not getting enough sleep; depression; anxiety.

Fatigue
See above. In addition, at the end of every long day, dragging my expanding ass to the gym.

Forgetfulness/Mood Swings/Irritability
Depression; anxiety; stress; being too freaking busy to remember every single detail of every single thing and raging at anybody who makes this more difficult/adds to my to-do list/gets in my way.

(**Yep, as you can see, I'm pretty much the most desirable woman on the planet)

Hopefully my own personal reasons, and so so many more that somebody else might have which would be much much worse (infertility, recent miscarriage, use your own imagination), are enough to illustrate that asking somebody if they are "with child" is a very personal and potentially weighty question. And should not be considered idle chatter >> Do you know if its going to rain tomorrow? What are the intimate details of your reproductive system and current sexual relationship?

When somebody thoughtlessly and flippantly suggests, to me, the possibility that I am pregnant, without knowing anything about me personally at all, I am always tempted to respond with something along the lines of, "No, why? How often do you engage in unprotected sex?" Maybe I should go into exhaustive detail about my menstrual cycle, since that is really what they're asking about, is it not? Would they think that was inapproriate? Well so was the question!